Fear the Beard

This most recent life for Tholgrin Stoneforge, my main-main and intrepid paladin leader of the rag-tag bunch of partially insane adventurers known as Full Moon Fury, was a bit of a whirlwind.

Without a concrete launch date for Update 29, which I’m actually dreading due to the impending level cap raise to 30 – but only because it’ll throw a monkey wrench in my plans to finish Thol’s Epic Completionist (greedy, much? –Ed.) – I’ve been in a bit of a crunch to blast out his remaining Epic lives as fast as dwarvenly possible.

I think I did a fairly good job, this past one.

With two Primals (Fast Healing), two Arcanes (Enchant Weapon), two Divines (Power over Life and Death), and one Martial (Doublestrike) under his belt already, I swung him back around into the Martial sphere to make it an even two across the board.  That was when I got home from work on Thursday.

Prime the facerollers, ladies and gentlemen, because the guild’s moniker was about to be unleashed.  And it would be further powered by my own stupidity.  (Author’s Note – the guild name has nothing to do with werewolves.)

Apparently, making an “ugly” life provides the actual player with a buff to viciousness for the duration of that particular life.  Thol has had the same appearance since his very first life – even back when the cosmetics were Armor Kits and had to be re-applied to each new set, he had the same one – something like a medieval Iron-Man-meets-Odin mashup.


Iron Odin Dwarf Man!

I really dig the look, and it pissed me off to the point where I was scouring the store for an Appearance Respec token (why don’t we have these, Turbine?  Do we really have to LR/ER/TR/IR in order to change our appearance?  We can change our names, alignments, and everything else…) when I completely goofed, reached for something on the desk, and accidentally clicked my mouse button.  Which in and of itself wouldn’t be too bad, except it was on the CREATE button at the time, and I wandered in with a crazy mixed-up mess that I officially dubbed Ugly Thol.  I mean, what the hell?  He’s almost a smoothface.  (For you elven players, that’s a pretty serious derogatory slur for most self-respecting dwarves, and might land you in some very hot water if used at the wrong time in an P&P/RP sense.  It’s essentially accusing a dwarf of being a traitor to the entire race.  There’s a lot more to it, but this sidebar is already too long.)


Ugly Thol

Awkward Aside:  Flash to funny moment, where after grouping up with some buddies, I was talking trash about how bloody hideous Thol was this life, when I ambled up to where we were waiting to tackle the King’s Forest – and Von pointed out that his character and Tholgrin had identical facial/hair/beard selections.  Cue uncomfortable crickets…..

But I digress.  His gnarsty appearance (more so because it wasn’t Tholgrin than anything else, although the weird side-shaved pompadour is kind of odd) giving me even more of an incentive to finish the life than the impending Level 30 raise, we set off.

And boy, did we set it off.  Thursday night started with reincarnation and ended with equipping Cleaver, Hewer of Suffering.  Friday night was a wicked blitz of four sagas and ended only one run of Jungles away from 26.  And after one-upping that on Saturday with a five-saga thermonuclear steamroll, the night ended with the following:


47 minutes!  Are you bloody serious? 

47 minutes left.  Forty-seven minutes.  That means that Thol’s entire Epic career for this life took all of 71 hours and 13 minutes of real time to earn 6.6 million XP.  The beauty of it wsa that while most of the crew wasn’t along for the entire roller coaster – although some were along for the majority of it – we all scored a nutball amount of experience, and Wreist hit cap one quest before Thol did.   Eshle hit his cap Friday night and was back into Heroics over the weekend.  All in all, it was a good time rocketing forth at unnecessary speeds.  Jazz Jackrabbit would be proud. 


Eight Epic lives down, four to go.  By an unknown launch date… that part kind of stinks.  I mean, sure, they’ve stated “December,” but that could mean anywhere from December 1st (panic) to December 31st (we’s good).  Or, more accurately, December 3rd to December 31st, since they typically push releases on Thursday.  Technicalities.  At the very least, I’d like to get the final Arcane and final Martial life done – I really don’t mind playing Fury of the Wild (Adrenaline Overload + Exalted Smite Evil = stupid-retardankulous 5-digit damage) and Unyielding Sentinel is his home destiny.. so neither of those would really be “bad” if I have to take them to 30.

On the other hand, focusing on Tholgirn as of late has usurped some time from his brother Bholgrin’s Goals for 2015… at least he’s seen some progress since the last time!  Well, sort of.  I spent part of a day with him and soloed every challenge save Epic Kobold Island:  Short Cuts.  I’ll have to do some work on that one – the Heroic one wasn’t that bad to solo, but no matter what I do on the Epic one, I’m always 30-40 dragonshards short when the timer goes POOF.  I’m not entirely certain what the strategy is on that one.. I might have to *gasp* break down and get someone to come along to help!  (Note that I did not say that I five-starred all of them, just that they were completed.  Some, better than others.  –Ed.)

So there’s still quite a bit left to do before the end of the year.. and even more to do in the next few days.  Luckily, in the US, this coming week is Thanksgiving – where I will most certainly be giving thanks for a number of things (you know, little things like continuing to breathe and having so many First World Problems that I get to complain about impending changes to a video game) followed by giving thanks for the fact it’s a short work week and I’ll have a chance to go apeshit with an axe.  A second Epic Completionist in 2015 can still happen!

Happy slaying!

#stumpy4life   #dwarfpower  #fearthebeard   #hashtag



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