Barbarian Poetry

The other night, I had a silly idea, continuing in the tangent of writing from the point of view of Uldwena the Barbarianess.  In this edition, we’re going to take a look at a few selections from a surprising source – her haiku diary.  Some alterations were made to fix her spelling and grammatical errors, where possible.. after all, she is a barbarian.

Hack hack hack hack hack

Corpses corpses corpses blood

Tee-hee, they fell down

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Why is everyone

Always so worried about

Those wussy li’l traps?

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Sharpening my axe

Just another day where I’m

Sharpening my axe

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Say it’s PMS

Again and I’ll peel your face

Off and eat the thing

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Yes, I can be a

Delicate little flower…

…that slaughters people.

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Why use discretion?

Axe to face is efficient.

So overrated!

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Stop for provisions

Nearly out of food and drink

Plus, noobs taste funny.

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Scrolls wands, runes shield sword

Spells and all that magic stuff

Pfft, I just need AXE