Barbarian Poetry

The other night, I had a silly idea, continuing in the tangent of writing from the point of view of Uldwena the Barbarianess.  In this edition, we’re going to take a look at a few selections from a surprising source – her haiku diary.  Some alterations were made to fix her spelling and grammatical errors, where possible.. after all, she is a barbarian.


Hack hack hack hack hack

Corpses corpses corpses blood

Tee-hee, they fell down

Why is everyone

Always so worried about

Those wussy li’l traps?

Sharpening my axe

Just another day where I’m

Sharpening my axe

Say it’s PMS

Again and I’ll peel your face

Off and eat the thing

Yes, I can be a

Delicate little flower…

…that slaughters people.

Why use discretion?

Axe to face is efficient.

So overrated!

Stop for provisions

Nearly out of food and drink

Plus, noobs taste funny.

Scrolls wands, runes shield sword

Spells and all that magic stuff

Pfft, I just need AXE



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